3 Steps that Build Self-Confidence to Make Healthy Lifestyle Changes

You know, I know, we all know the healthy lifestyle changes we need to make to get into the best bodies of our lives — and live our best lives — but most of us still struggle to make them. Can’t we just make the choice to get healthy and … do it? Don’t we all wish it were that simple. The truth is, any change is scary. When the changes we need to make are hard-won habits, ingrained in the way we’ve been shown to live our lifestyle, that automatically pop-up without our conscious knowledge at times — they’re downright terrifying.

When we’re making big, amazing, healthy lifestyle changes for ourselves, it’s not only the frightful unknown that needs to be faced; grit and stamina also have to be cultivated to stay the course. How do we, then, constantly show up for ourselves to rewire those habits and reprogram those ingrained lessons we’ve been taught on how to live? How do we do it all in the face of fear… of whatever it may be that happens next in this new chapter? The answer is not surprising. We cultivate the very simple form of support within: self-confidence.

Soulset gives rise to the Personal Power of Confidence

In my programs, I teach a number of “Personal Powers” (like Confidence) I attribute to different, and specific, parts of us (like our Energy) that make up the multi-faceted mind, heart, body spirit that is You. Every one of these Personal Powers have a somewhat automatic way-of-being. Just as someone’s ingrained Mindset feeds their capacity to think clearly, objectively and even consider others, Soulset is the automatic systems that filters or creates the energy of feeling good, having a purpose, and being yourself (come what may).

There is brute force in authenticity.

Our ability to face fears and grow beyond them is only one of the smaller benefits of Confidence. Sure we may be taught that being able to own a room and really strut our stuff is the desirable outcome of being confident, but I disagree. The real win in cultivating a strong Soulset is the power to be yourself.

Step 1. Cultivating the Personal Power of Comfort

I’ve really struggled with Confidence in my life. Dominating family relations really broke me down as a child, and “being myself” seemed as mysterious a concept as “being accepted”. I’d never learned how to be me, because nobody ever showed me how to accept me. Much of my life was spent in lessons that taught me I was unacceptable. Confidence, for me, was the furthest thing away from what I needed to cultivate at first: Comfort is the first step to Confidence.

Comfort is the place wherefrom we accept ourselves as we are right now. Please tell me if there’s any other place for us to start than where we stand, because I have looked for it. I tried desperately, for years, to grow in all different directions — trying to escape where I was, who I thought I was — just to end up at the same spot every time.

No matter where you go, there you are.

Confucius

It wasn’t until I sunk into stillness that I recognized: there’s no escape — the only way out, is in.

Does this sound familiar: You tried to escape your “bad” habits, and your “unhealthy” patterns just to end up feeling worse about yourself and more hopeless. You felt like You were “bad” and like the “unhealthy” aspects of your lifestyle came from inside you.

i. Comfort Practice

• Recognize where your unhealthy lifestyle habits came from and get mad at the cause for your Soulset malaise.
• Realize there’s nothing inherently wrong with you and what you thought was reality was actually taught to you.
• Move past blame by recognizing you have the power to change whatever it is that you want to change.
• With this new wisdom, sink into the reality — the hurt — of living your present body reality.
• Give it space.

Your mind, heart & soul all heal as automatically as a wound on your body does. The crazy cool thing is that tissue that has been broken heals stronger. You’re positioned to be healthier than ever.

Step 2. Set yourself up to Succeed

The only way to get to a goal is to make a plan to win. Be on your own team — how would you support a beloved team member in their pursuit of a better body and healthier lifestyle? Or a child in your care?

ii. Support Practice

• What can you do to make this change easier on yourself?
  • Lay out your workout clothes the night before?
  • Block out half a day (non-negotiable) every week for food prep?
  • Get a healthy-food delivery service?
• Plan to lose a battle or ten! Designate a plan B! Falling down is expected, standing back up is success.
• Make a list of ways you’d choose to get support from the absolute best friend you can imagine then be that friend.

3. Small Wins to Cultivate Confidence

The most important tasks you take on to build confidence are the easiest ones to over look. Confidence is built through tiny follow-throughs and very small wins. Every time you make a commitment to do something, and follow through (even partially or with less-than-enthusiastic effort), you’re building the confidence and self-esteem necessary to take on (and achieve!) seriously big goals.

ii. Confidence Practice

• Focus on cultivating one habit at one time.
• Stick with one new habit for at least 30 days (60-90 if you’re serious about making it automatic).
• Make it easy to achieve (have an acceptable minimum that is less effort than the whole task — for when you need to negotiate with yourself).
• Celebrate those wins, even when they’re the smaller wins you’ve set as minimums, working out for 5 minutes is better than not at all.

“Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.”

G. K. Chesterton

Finding Comfort & Confidence for Health & Ideal Body Composition

Start where you are, let go of your past, to step into the person you really feel akin to being. You always have a choice. It’s not your fault that you are in this predicament, and you have to work for comfort, confidence and a phenomenal body, but it is your responsibility. That’s a wonderful thing. It means that the wonderful person you long to be, the health and vibrance you long to exude, the comfort and confidence you can feel just below the surface: That’s the real You.

All you have to do is cultivate the comfort to accept where that person is at now, and what she needs, and the confidence in that person deserving a place in this world. Then, all you have to do is meet her.

Related: Gratitude is Confidence??

Related: The Importance of Self-Confidence