One easy trick to keeping motivated on your weight loss journey. It sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? That elusive quality some people have to get up and workout at 6AM, eat wonderfully healthy food all the time, and keep their commitments to themselves rain or shine, for better or worse, in sickness and in health seems freakish to those of us who struggle with our weight — they make it seem so effortless that we think that maybe we were just born different…
They weren’t.
Motivation is a Muscle: it gains Strength w/ Exercise
I’m happy to help you drop that self-degradation like it’s hot: those people weren’t born differently than you. They had a different experience growing up, different factors shaped them, different people influenced them, in essence, the formative “reality” that shaped their motivation muscles was completely different than yours.
Listen. “Different” does not mean “better”.
It means everyone on this planet has a unique experience, and I believe yours is meant to shape you into the perfect version of yourself. As is mine. Eventually.
Without segueing into a whole other topic, I simply want to tell you: there’s nothing wrong with you, or with any of your experiences, there’s only growth,like everything else in nature, and that’s why we are here.
Think about how much love you felt for a person you lost, or how awesome you vowed to treat people after you’d been hurt, look at all the patience you grew from getting frustrated when things didn’t go your way as a child.
I’m not here to say “look on the bright side”. Eff that. I want awesome, in my life and yours, and more of it please. That includes an impeccable body.
What I am saying is: there is nothing in this world without value.
And, eventually, when you’ve overcome the obstacles that have been thrown at you, your mess will become your message.
That’s what happened with me. I struggled with lack of motivation, anxiety, overeating, (and consequently my weight) my whole life (from early childhood). Overcoming the most incredulous setbacks equipped me to help anyone, from any background, lose weight sustainably and keep it off without the battleground of trying to magically force your way (dieting etc.) past these very real issues.
I help people HEAL and GROW past their weight loss challenges, and STRENGTHEN all of the interwoven pieces of their Ideal Body Nature.
This month, we focus on MINDSET.
The Simplest Key to Motivation is what I call the “Self-Talk Tool” (ST)
I’m not talking about the “self-talk” you’ve heard before. Sure, when you hear advice to “speak to yourself nicely” etc. they are describing the ST. They aren’t, however, prescribing a cure for a sick ST — an RIQ-d ST (Reality IQ deficient Self-Talk Tool) because this approach can’t really modify ST at all.
Your Self-Talk Tool and an internal dialogue are different.
The main difference between the advice to “speak to yourself nicely” is that it assumes you are actually talking to yourself. That’s an entirely different thing altogether. If you are actually speaking within, it’s called an “internal dialogue”. Of course, you can dictate how that goes as much as you would a convo with your neighbour!
ST speaks to you, for you, and it’s reactive not deductive. In other words, it’s pre-programmed and you didn’t have a choice about what it was programmed with.
Some people don’t even have verbal ST. Their ST comes through as concepts of what they can and cannot do. It’s like the police in your brain. The adults around you shaped it from early childhood onward.
Freud called it the “super-ego“. I like the term “supra-eg”o because it describes what he meant: it’s above you, a pre-programmed voice/idea/parental figure, making sure you don’t do “unacceptable” things. What was considered “unacceptable” by the adults in your life is highly subjective.
Like, what happens to the ST if your parents were afraid of failure to lose weight themselves? Or insecure and wanting to protect you from trying to be beautiful because they thought you’d get hurt? Or worse, what if adults in your life were threatened by your beauty? And put you down?
It is common knowledge among psychologists that ST is a “self-regulatory function” that affects things like self-control and self-direction. It’s the voice in your head that says “Stay in bed” at 6AM when you vowed to go for an early run, “Eat that cupcake and start your diet tomorrow” every time you have decided to cut back on sugar, “You can’t do this” or “You look ridiculous” when you’ve gotten the gumption up to try some new exercise.
That freak who gets up and goes for a beach run (ahem, me — after telling myself my entire life I could NOT run) has an ST programmed to say “a’ight, I know you’re tired girl, but let’s GO! You’ll feel better if you hit your feet on the ground.”
Imagine waking up to a loving friend who did that for you.
Now imagine having that friend be with you all day, everyday, with their only intention being to LOVE, nurture, and MOTIVATE you.
Viva ST.
That freak-of-nature who is up at the crack of dawn, beach running, and loving it, isn’t a freak at all. She either had parents, a community or a mentor that programmed her ST to be on her team.
For me, I was the latter, and it took me almost a decade or more to figure it out. Now I pass on the tools to you my little friend, so you can free your fit form too.
Programming your Self-Talk Tool (ST) to be your Best Weight Loss Motivator
Listen, if you think any of this advice that follows is obvious, ask yourself if you’re actually practicing it. The biggest problem with weight loss is the gap between theory and practice. If you automatically think “I know that already”, take a step further and ask yourself “but am I employing my knowledge?” That’s wisdom.
1. Affirmations
As a scientist, I am very sensitive about seeming “woo-woo”. I spent years in the East studying with masters, then years in the West studying with doctors… I blend spirituality with science in my weight loss programs because we are holistic beings whose bodies have many layers of needs to be ideal. Science can measure how effective spiritual practices are. That’s how I blend the two. When I prescribe something for weight loss, you better believe it’s proven by data to be effective.
Affirmations can literally rewire your brain think positively. They also counterbalance RIQ-d ST which is simply a recording you need to record over.
Not only that, they also raise the level of feel-good hormones — just like working out — and encourages our brains to form new clusters of “positive thought” neurons. It quite possibly, and quite literally, creates High Reality IQ (RIQ+) ST molecules!
I’ve coupled weight loss affirming statements to program your ST with Emotional Freedom Technique tapping…
(yes, EFT is an evidence-based approach that improves many of the associated malaise that comes with RIQ-d ST — like my personal bane: anxiety)
The therapy starts at 5:36 https://youtu.be/l072DNmJR2U
…to give you a hard-hitting double-dose of ST LOVE.
2. Write a Love Letter … to Yourself
Listen up here, you little lovely. You can-not, I repeat, can-NOT hate yourself into a body that you love! I now that’s what you’ve been taught. My poor wee heart is breaking just thinking about it. You must overcome that and have the courage to give yourself a fighting chance to live in a body you feel comfortable in! You MUST undo this self-loathing weight loss dogma from your mind.
“Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that. Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.”
-MLK jr.Write a letter to your inner child. Tell her you’re here for her now. Explain how she’s good, and is the kind of person who can get up at 6AM, start something hard and be bad at it, and do anything else that she wants to do… and that you’ll be there for her.
Then write a letter to yourself telling yourself what kind of person you are: repeat everything you said to that little girl or boy but in the present tense. “I’m the kind of person who says loving and meaningful things to myself.”
3. Do a Self-Loving Kindness Meditation
The scientific consensus on meditating is: Mediation is kick-a*s. (Click to check out my post on how if affects weight loss.)
If you don’t know, now you know.
- Sit, stand, lay down — just get comfy.
- Breathe deeply and slowly.
- Place your hands palm down (the symbol for turning inward).
- Give a little prayer for yourself: “May I be healthy, may I be at peace, may I be happy.”
- Speak slowly and deliberately. Feel the meaning of the words sink in.
- When distractions arise within, acknowledge them, accept them, and let them go.
- Continue until you feel self-loving kindness permeating your being.
- Work your way through your loved ones.
- Move on to people who cause you trouble (remember, feeling better about people who wrong you is a service to you).
4. Practice “Rootlaev”
Practicing Rootlaev makes all of your biggest goals effortless. I’m serious. This is why I’m here writing to you instead of finishing my PhD! I stumbled upon Rootlaev in my research and realized I’d found the magic bullet to weight loss, wealth, whatever you want — sustainably.
Simplified, you could say this is my take on mindfulness. Rootlaev is a heck of a lot deeper than the broad practice of mindfulness, and far more profound, but mindfulness is definitely part and parcel with Rootlaev.
Rootlaev = Flow + Enlightenment
Psychological Flow: Total, practiced, immersion in the present activities You are moving, aware, your senses are heightened as are your talents and skills. You are “in the zone”.
+
Buddhist Enlightenment: Like Flow, it is a state of immersion, a blend of consciousness and unconsciousness. Rootlaev describes it as a mixture of:
- Insight — into your past, who you were, and who you wish to be. It’s the wisdom to know how your actions affect outcomes and what best serves you. It is the understanding of how you fit, past, present, future with everything else in the world, now and forever.
- Liberation — to sense, accept and appreciate your true nature as it is. From the purest self within to the flawed human without, you are able to express and simply be whatever you are. That is your whole Truth.
- Nirvana — your personal needs are met. The way you wish to feel is sustainably provided for. You trust you are taken care of. You have what you desire.
=
Lifestyle Rootlaev: In both Flow & Enlightened states ST would be turned off. Rootlaev, however, incorporates your humanness. Rootlaev is both a state (a lifestyle) and a practice (a tool).
It is the state of being in touch with your purpose always, aligned with your true self, and acting in a true-to-you virtuous manner, skillfully, creatively, inspired and adept while accepting yours, and others’, funny & fallible human tendencies.
ST fostered in Rootlaev will be your ever-championing cheerleader and support network.
Rootlaev makes living in the body of your dreams super easy.
Your mind, your ST, is the closest person to you and it’s the first, and sometimes only, thing you hear when embarking on every single step in your weight loss journey.
Start with Weight Loss in the Mind, Heart, Spirit & Body to Follow
This is part of a four month FREE program to get you into your ideal body. This month we are working on your weight loss mindset. Next month, heartset. Then Soulset and finally BODiset.
Because it’s the Mind, Heart, Spirit & Body connection that facilitates your ideal body composition.
You can sign up here to get your free Ideal Body, Ideal Day Planner and get premium education delivered straight to your e-box every week!
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