There is so much stigma against perfection these days. Intelligent women, especially, are taught to loathe it. Like it’s not only unattainable, it’s downright dirty to even think about. But we owe every advancement of society to the belief that we are, in fact, perfectable. Every plea to humankind to ‘do better’ is a testament to the stronghold of conviction that we not only have the capacity to perfect ourselves, but that we are meant to.
There is a natural drive within every one of us to blossom into the very best version of ourselves. This creative journey is written on our souls and can be read throughout our bones. What we deeply desire is, simply, our nature to grow towards. Although it seems at times easier said than done, in reality it’s easier done than said! All you need are the right tools. You are in luck because I create them.
We all deserve to own our ideals of perfection. And I’ll explain how the laws of the natural world agree, but first the criticism:
Harmful Beauty Standards & Unrealistic Ideals Forced on Women are NOT “Perfect”
The feminine beauty ideal is a harmful, normalized, notion that women should look a certain way to be a productive member of their sex. The notion that women need to be “perfect” to be successful goes beyond looks though, a study showed women needed to have 100% of the qualifications listed in a job post before applying for a promotion where men would apply if they had 50%. Women feel the pressure to ‘be’ perfect more often than men do, which often leads to feelings of inadequacy and even mental health issues in an alarming number of, especially, young women (Journal of Occupational Psychology). This, in and of itself, should be argument enough to attest to the evils of perfectionism. Shouldn’t it?
Well, no. Not in my opinion anyhow. The fundamental difference between this kind of perfectionism and the kind of perfectability I’m advocating is that ‘being’ perfect is far from necessary. Striving towards excellence requires a succinct vision of what “excellent” means to you. That is the ‘perfect’ version of yourself, your life, your mind, body & spirit. Personal growth is absolutely necessary to seek out, and feeling inadequate for not being fully developed already is not part of the journey. You are adequate, more than adequate, for being on the path to your highest ability. In fact, it is the definition of perfection!
p style=”padding-left: 90px;”>1. the state or quality of being perfect.
2. a person or thing considered to be perfect.
3. the action or process of improving something until it is faultless.
The very act of growing towards your version of perfect is perfection! By definition! Embracing this kind of perfect not only gives you the freedom to go for your dreams (and be the person you’re truly meant to be), but it empowers you to be the creator of your life! Many feminist sentiments advocate an expulsion of “perfect” from our minds, when truly the only “perfection” we should reject is anyone elses definition of it.
(Re)Defining Perfection — the Real Perfect Woman
The only trouble created from striving towards an ideal happens when the judge of perfection is outside of ourselves. That is a very big trouble indeed. Imagine a lily trying to be a rose. It won’t work. It can’t work. The lily won’t just end up feeling like a failure, it’s an impossible task the lily is doomed to fail at. When the lily is honest with herself, in deep self-reflection, no matter how many times she has been told to be a rose, her whole being will desire to grow into a lily.
That is the perfection we need to be rejecting: anyone’s ideal but our own. In turn, embracing our own drive towards perfection.
Your Beautiful Nature: the Version of Perfect that is Your Destiny
What you perceive as perfection is the version of life you should be aiming at and enjoying. Your ideals are your destiny. Striving towards that is as healthy and natural as a flower seeking bloom. Remember, the flower embraces the whole of the journey, perfection is just as much about growth as fruition. Why are we not in our perfect selves if it is our simple nature? Because we have all been programmed and taught deviations from our nature. I can help.
The only difficult part in this journey is finding the right directions once we’ve been set off course. You may see the vision of the perfect you, and the path can seem very simple to you at times, but HOW to simply BE in your true nature eludes many of us. I scourged the wisdom across the earth for years and years and years (doing nothing but research) and even at the end of it all — even when I understood everything — I needed a formulated, solid, step-by-step practice including potent therapies just to begin truly embracing my own perfection sustainably. Here are powerful tips and a free guide tobecoming the best you.
How to be the Perfect Woman: Beautiful Naturally
p style=”padding-left: 90px;”>a. Analyze your role models behaviour for pointers.
b. Acknowledge your own strengths you have now.
c. Create your personalized, working definition of “perfect”.
d. Acknowledge the areas of your life in need of growth.
p style=”padding-left: 90px;”>e. Try new things, develop your interests.
f. Think proactively when faced with challenges (seek solutions).
g. Reflect on how you want to relate socially and gain those skills.
h. Honour your emotions and temper them with practicality.
p style=”padding-left: 90px;”>i. Be true to your word — follow through on promises.
j. Actively seek new relationships and end toxic ones.
k. Avoid gossip — if it isn’t dangerous to others or directly affecting you, leave it.
l. Make time for the people who matter and be ‘there’ for them.
p style=”padding-left: 90px;”>m. Get active & get outside — explore new healthy lifestyle changes.
n. Clear your wardrobe of anything you don’t LOVE, develop your style.
o. Give your hair and skin what they need, and make it a routine.
p. Stand up straight, hydrate & meditate.
p style=”padding-left: 90px;”>q. Identify your life goals — choose your dream.
r. Gather the resources you need to actualize them.
s. Ask for help from someone who has achieved your goals.
t. Stick to your plan so you can create routine growth.
p style=”padding-left: 90px;”>u. Accept the struggle and that you will always be a work in progress/
v. Forgive yourself and others for past mistakes.
w. Create a good support system with helpful friends & reciprocating.
x. Celebrate your wins and strengths.
y. Put your flaws & losses into perspective, compare yourself to yourself prior.
z. Cultivate gratitude for the opportunity to grow.
(Based on this post.)
Not everyone wants to be rich, or famous, or a Nobel laureate, a prize-winning inventor, a game-changing entrepreneur, a healer, a visionary, a prophet; perfection to you will not be perfection to someone else. The intention behind throwing out perfection was good: no one else should ever had the ability to judge what is ideal for you.
So, don’t let them. Perfectability is why we strive. It’s optimism. It’s why we are here. That’s the same for all of us, but the details can only be defined, dictated, and denoted — by you.
Natural Selection and Natural Beauty: Darwin’s Theory of Evolution Explained
I’m going to let you in on a little secret. It’s a little known fact that within Darwin’s theory of evolution is shocking testimony to nature’s support for evolution towards beauty. Most people understand his theory as evidence that the universal law of nature is to support the “survival of the fittest”. They interpret this as a blind process in which we, and everything else on the planet, simply exists in order to (pro)create “strong” offspring/traits. While that is an observation made by the theory, there is something more troubling (even to Darwin himself) within his findings. An inexplicable aspect he had not anticipated (which shocked him quite wholly) showed itself: he could not find meaning in how or why nature gave preferential treatment to beauty.
He found an inexplicable preference nature had for beauty; through all of this brute force he witnessed in natural selection, evolution somehow preferred the butterfly to the caterpillar.
In 1874 Asa Gray, a close friend and colleague of Darwin’s, wrote an article in the journal Natural applauding the theory of evolution exclaiming “let us recognise Darwin’s great service to Natural Science in bringing back to it Teleology” (or evidence of a point to evolution — a desired goal in nature — a linear path towards betterment). To which Darwin responded: “What you say about Teleology pleases me especially, and I do not think any one else has ever noticed the point” (American Scientific Affiliation). Teleology speaks to their being a point to life, a higher state of being we are drawn to, that evolution is striving towards something, that we are unfolding, in some sort of design, constantly, bettering ourselves.
It’s not just a ubiquitous desire of ours to grow more beautiful, better and brighter — it is our design and the beautiful way all of the natural world thrives.
Naturally Beautiful is Beautifully Natural
This brings me to the reason I defend the attraction to perfection with all of my might. It is why I beg people to dig up their ideals and keep growing toward them. It’s not only unproductive to throw out the idea of personal perfection, or becoming our version of the perfect woman, it’s unnaturally constrictive. I look at supermodels everyday and feel inspired instead of self-conscious. Find role models that truly resonate with your personal ideal of perfection, then kill the ultra-negative messages to reject them, or that you failed by not already being there. You can be educated by those who are killing it in the ways you so want to kill it too. Perfecting is a journey. And what we deem to be the perfect woman, truly, speaks to us most clearly of what we are destined for.
Your ideas of what a dream life, perfect career, ideal relationship, mentality, physique, emotional wellbeing and energetic vibe are will show you the precise, specific and unique ways you were meant to serve the world. Being perfect isn’t about rising to inscrutability through others peoples’ perspectives, it’s about not giving a damn about anyone’s judgements but your own. It’s about knowing yourself. It’s about creating something unique. It’s about having a harmonious relationship with yourself. In turn, serving all of the world. When you are your best self, you offer your greatest gifts. You were made to be the butterfly, not only the caterpillar. That is your nature.
Getting the Right Guides to being Beautiful, Naturally
Letting go of the characterizations of “perfect” we’ve inherited, or been programmed with, comes naturally when our own personal goals are uncovered, honed in on, and sharpened. Once this revelation happens, day-to-day living inside who we truly are (beautiful, naturally) can begin. We can, easily, strip away invading ideas, and regain the power to be our real selves, with the right help.
When we allow ourselves the mental, emotional and spiritual space to be ourselves, truly, natural healing begins and growth towards perfection in our bodies and in our lives is imminent, automatic & irrepressible.
“Truth is Beauty, Beauty Truth” – John Keats
If My Version of the Perfect Woman is Destiny, How Can I Fail?
Being your own version of perfect is the easiest thing imaginable (with the right help). Like water, your nature will take the path of least resistance if it’s allowed to. Without thought, intention or effort, it is able to grow like a seed towards its highest potential. You’re meant to bear this fruit.
Many things, like invasive ideals that don’t belong to the naturally beautiful, perfect woman you are, stop your growth in its tracks (like a rock blocking a water way or root). They divert the water that feeds your baby plant or block out the sun. When too many of these obstacles accumulate, we no longer have the space we need within ourselves to grow. Our beautiful and natural nutrients go to waste or worse: our energy feeds what ails us instead of what makes us feel alive. Letting go of what is not truly ours is so much easier than holding on. The first step is identifying it.
I create different course and therapeutic programs to help you in all of your goals towards being the perfect you. Enrol in my perfect body mindset introductory course for free now. My gift to you.
Peace and so much, LL